| personal |
I have photos ERY’WHERE in my house. Surprise, right? I joke with my husband that our walls are nothing but a massive shrine to him and our baby because i’m in maybe 2 of the photographs.
Our running joke: “Seriously Lucas, at your funeral there won’t be enough space to put all the photos I’ve taken of you! …Just make sure my one good iPhone selfie makes it to mine if I die first”
Photographs mean everything to me. I can’t tell you how my heart soars when Sawyer goes down the hallway pointing to each image and talking about it. I want our home to be filled with mementos of the crazy deep love we share with each other and I love being surrounded by those reminders. So you would think I would be better at getting in some photographs. But, alas, I am JUST as guilty as every female: “I need to have my hair perfectly styled and highlighted first, I need to find the most hipster/coolest/ yet sexiest/flattering/stylish outfit first, I’ll take them when I get a spray tan, I had too much pizza this month..BLUH, BLUH, blluuuhhhhhh.” Ya feel me, sister?
I actually shed a little tear putting prints from our trip to New York City in an album not to long ago (i’m pregnant so forgive the dramatics), feeling so guilty that I had not insisted in being in at least 1 photo with my family. I know its my due diligence and my passion as a photographer to be behind the camera, its what I love to do. But then I thought of Sawyer looking at these images and wondering: where is his mommy in these? I felt embarrassed that I made a million excuses, mostly vain, to not pass the camera to Lucas.
For this Mother’s Day my husband insisted on taking photos of Sawyer and I because he knew that I had been feeling guilty for not documenting my pregnancy, or basically my existence. We as mommies and wives get so caught up in everyone else that sometimes we forget about ourselves.
I am so, so, grateful that my husband was up for taking the photos of Sawyer and I. We are polar opposites in this regard: he was OVER this in 15 minutes (but isn’t every guy?!). He handled my control freak tendencies like a champ (“dude whoah, NEVER take a photo of woman from a low angle!” “ohhh please get this!! and this! and OH, THIS!”). I cried when I uploaded them. I wanted images celebrating the love that inspires me, moves me, and has shaped me: being a mommy. To me, these images show just that.
I love you, Lucas. I’m overwhelmed with the love you show me daily, my heart could explode!
Ok, enough of the MUSH before I cry all over my computer!!